Bullying……..

Bullying……. A continuous
menace……..

There is no age for bullying to start, it can be at any time, be it as early as class 1 or
later on in 4^th or 5^th.

An observation and study of children has really lead me to think, what is it
which makes one bully and what is it that makes a child bullied???

Is being overly dominating to have ones point of view proved by any means, be it
shouting, physical assault or verbal abuse amounting to bullying? A very fine
line distinguishes between being a dominating personality and bullying.

Very often I have seen children and parents come across to me who don’t know how to handle a
child who refuses to go to school as he cannot take the pressure of physically
bigger children who by the virtue of being physically stronger make the
weaklings tow into line.

A week ago a 10 year old was brought who was did not want to miss school and yet was not
happy going to school, the reason being that he was being pushed around by
seniors who were physically, mentally and by virtue of their seniority were
senior tormenting the child, pushing him around, hitting him and verbally
threatening to harm him if he went and reported to anyone else. There was no
apparent cause other than the fact that this 10 year old was a loner and
physically a weak child.

The child was in a fix as he was scared of these kids, cried in a corner in school and
then put up a brave face and continued with his daily activities in school.

He did not want the parents to intervene and did not want to report to teachers as it
would mean being a sissy in school.

Further on probing it came to light that the 2 seniors were from broken homes trying to in all probability take out
their own frustrations on to someone weaker.

The 10 year old did not wish to retaliate
as he thought that it was ok to be pushed around as it is he was not a topper
and was poor in academics, sports or any other activity, so it was all right
and that’s how life had to carry on.

He had started believing in himself as being
a failure and that being pushed around was ok.

Somewhere he has lost his sense of dignity,
self respect and the right to stand up for himself.

The father of this child felt that it was ok to be roughed up and he had to fight his own
way out but the mother was more vocal in her disapproval of the whole act of
outrageous bullying.

Even though she felt the other children had their own baggage, yet it did not give them the
space or authority to rake it out on someone who was a weakling.

This again drives home a point that who are the children who bully? Are they suffering
from deeper complexes in life that there is no other way for them to gain
acceptance?

Why do the children bend in to the bullying when tormented by the seniors, which further
percolates down to the college level where it takes the form of ragging?

Do we as teachers, parents, friends and seniors need to step in and understand at the base level
of the behaviour patterns of children.

Can we as adults take on a more active role in the form of peer parents, teachers and friends in
understanding the problem and trying to work out a doable solution

Are we as adults somewhere faltering in not being able to manage our own temper and its
outcome and then running from pillar  to
post to  save the children from being
overly aggressive and temperamental…..

Brings me back to the same point, family the most important unit, love it and nurture it
with your own dignity intact