Motherhood an Ongoing Journey

Growing up is a beautiful journey, especially for me as I am a mother. A mother, who is growing up with her two boys .

I am seeing so many things unfold in front of me. I have to let go and yet be a silent observer and hold myself back. The house is alive with robust energy of young men. One breezes in and with a hug, just informs me that he is out on a party with friends. I am scared and I ask him what time he would be back, coolly I am informed that he would take the house keys and let himself in. I cannot trust my 21 year old and like a granny keep awake till the wee hours of morning; he saunters in totally sober and is surprised to see me up. I snoop like a detective smelling him, waiting to trap him with some forbidden smell. He has a mischievous grin and tells me “Mom I know my limits, it’s my life as well so please just relax and sleep”. I go to bed but with a pensive thought and then tell myself that I have to trust him. I have to.

Some solace I have that the younger one is still cosy in the nest but then comes the shock when I am informed about some class party which is happening and he needs to go and I needn’t keep awake for him… copying the elder one …

I cannot be too strict and yet I cannot be too liberal. Boundaries are drawn, limits are set and rules are drawn. I expect rebellion but lo behold, it’s a surprise. The child is totally ok with the boundaries and rules. I want to hug him tight and dance with relief but I refrain from such exhibition. With a bit stern expression I agree and have a peaceful night with the fledgling back in the nest at 11 pm. What a relief.

Here is another departure from the routine… the elder boy wants to call his friends home for his birthday. Wow that’s a surprise as my presence is taboo at a house party. This is a deflection from normal and I wonder the reason for this lovely intrusion into the private space. “Budget mom, budget”…. Oops, I thought it was love…

“A party at home is affordable and cool”. Wow I am amazed at why my presence will not hamper the spirit of fun, though inwardly am much relieved at this. I am told to just relax and the child be allowed to do everything on his own.

 It’s a herculean task but I busy myself with errands, work and zillion other things. What a beautiful surprise because I walk in home at 7 pm and I find the house completely set. Furniture rearranged aroma candles all over, flowers in place to enhance the ambience. My heart swells with pride and my eyes fill with tears. They are tears of happiness to know that yet another cycle of life begins where the bird has to fly the nest and I have to sit back and enjoy the sweet labour of having raised my children and raised them well.

“Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could, for somewhere in my youth or childhood I must have done something good “